Today is my last day at InsurTexas. On Monday I will begin working at a CPA firm which I know will be just about as different from this place as it could possibly be.

It's hard to believe how much I didn't like working here when I first started, and how desperate and trapped I felt. It surprises me that I feel almost that same way now that I am leaving. I will miss many things about this place.

Things like:

• My huge office on the first floor with WINDOWS
• The freedom to be myself (this is a huge one because yuppies only typically accept individuality only when it mirrors their own)
• Knowing where I stand and being liked by everyone
• Liking everyone I work with in return
• Being completely in control of my role
• Not having any drama going on in the workplace
• The door in the bathroom that sticks closed when you swing it so you don't have to use the latch
• Working so close to home

Sigh.

Monday I start over. AGAIN.

I was just reading an article about a study conducted by a couple of psychology researchers at UT Austin on the differences between cat people and dog people based on a survey of 4500 people. Very relevant excerpt in 5 4 3 2....

"It turns out that the "dog people" -- based on how people identified themselves, not on what animals they actually own -- tend to be more social and outgoing, whereas "cat people" tend to be more neurotic but "open," which means creative, philosophical, or nontraditional in this context."

I called Half Price Books a few minutes ago because I am trying to get my school books together before school starts next Tuesday. While holding, I was dancing around to Erasure blaring into my ear through the receiver and just not really paying attention to anything. Before I knew it, they had moved on to the next song, and it was Gloria Estefan. You may not know this, but I LOATHE Gloria Estefan ENTIRELY. It seriously took everything I had not to hang up and just forget about the books. As it turns out, I could have because they didn't have the books I needed anyway.

OH GLORIA, why do I hate you so?

So, I really want this t-shirt. I don't wear printed t-shirts, or t-shirts at all for that matter, but I believe I might be willing to wear this one -- even if only around the house....

Today Cory called me on his lunch break to let me know that Walden Books is having a 60 - 80% off sale. Not only that, but he was able to locate both the new David Cross book AND Stitch n Bitch for only $5 each. At which mall might this Walden Books be located? The one where you will likely be shot, or have your car vandalized at the very least. With that said, I am always down for getting awesome books for a third of their normal price. The David Cross book is $18 at Urban Outfitters (and likely everywhere else in the world), and Stitch n Bitch is close to the same. All that is to say that I have no problem risking my life to save $13 on a book about knitting.

My first call of the day today was one where I was bitched out by an SR22 policyholder over why I would not cancel his policy for him. It's funny to me because he was the third drunk driver in two days to do this over something that was his fault. Even more humorous is that when it came down to it and his attorney called the DPS - he was not allowed to cancel it. THIS IS THE REASON WHY THE CARRIER REQUIRES DOCUMENTATION FROM THEM. Nothing like waking up to a devious asshat yelling at you over something ridiculous.

Tonight, along with venturing out to the seedy side of town for cheap literary thrills, we will eat leftover chili and hopefully watch a free documentary. Webbernet, don't let me down.

I had a pretty awesome weekend. Cory and I pretty much just pretended that he still has a job, and lived life to the fullest (in a very non-monetary way, of course). We had Zoe and her dog Pearl over on Friday and Saturday nights and just had some in general fun.

As a cat person I can honestly say that I have never been interested in another person's dog to any extent. When I see a cat or kitten, I pretty much immediately want to give it a home. On the other hand, my appreciation of dogs is typically always insincere and intended solely so that I do not come off as a complete asshole to the owner in question. Enter Pearl. Holy shit this dog is the bee's knees -- and while I am still completely a cat person, were I in a situation to become a dog owner, I would be okay with keeping this one.

Her cuteness level is somewhat ridiculous.

I had intended to eat an apple with peanut butter for lunch today. I brought my little bowl to eat it out of and my knife to slice it up... but alas, no apple. Hence I am at home blogging while eating cheese and crackers on my lunch break. It's actually pretty enjoyable.

Anyway, on Saturday night we played this new game called Quelf. It was AMAZING. Cory says it is not something you should play with certain people, but it was just good, old-fashioned, embarrassing-as-heck, fun. Among the things we had to do: Cory had to build a fort and stay in it until his next turn, I had to wear a neck tie around my head like a ninja, Zoe had to explore the moon making only beeps and whirring noises (without telling us what she was doing), and I had to laugh every time she laughed (which is A LOT) or pay the penalty. It is my FAVORITE.

Back to work!

WOW. Did I really make it through an entire holiday season without posting a single thing? I suppose that serves as a testament to how busy things have been these days.

Honestly, I don't feel like the work load is increasing as much as my attitude toward it is changing. I have reached this bizarre limbo which I had initially assumed was for panicking individuals turning thirty and suddenly questioning every aspect of their lives. For whatever reason, I have suddenly become hyper-aware of the things in my life that cause despair, and it feels like that awareness just exacerbates the feeling further. Who is responsible for said ‘things’? That would be ME, and no one else. Therein lies the problem. For this reason, I have decided that I need to begin this year with resolutions -- improvements to my existence which will free me from this crushing dread. Perhaps publicly establishing goals will make me more culpable in the future. We shall see.

My first order was to submit a tentative resignation as Vice President of the Philosophy honor society. Sure -- this is a healthy and positive thing to be involved in, but not for me. I do not have enough free time in my life to feel miserable about having to spend what little I do have on this. Honestly, I hardly ever participate anyway, which just causes undue guilt for not being involved enough. It may be shitty, and they may be irritated and disappointed about it, but so what? I AM UNHAPPY, and my first priority is to eradicate that emotion to the greatest extent that I am able. NO APOLOGIES. I felt pretty dreadful when I clicked the 'send' button, but I have since recovered and can look beyond the minor humiliation of being a quitter enough to realize that this is the best option for me right now.

This year I will:

Find more ways to live frugally (clip coupons)
I have researched this fairly thoroughly on the web, and it seems like we are already doing many of the things which are recommended. One thing I don’t do – clip coupons. Looks like I had better get busy.

Create a savings account and contribute to it regularly
I am hesitant to specify a goal amount, because I have no idea how much we are capable of spending. This is especially true in light of the news I received today of Cory no longer being employed. We’ll just keep it general – every little bit counts.

Do more yoga
PERIOD. I feel content when I am doing this. In fact, the time I spend practicing yoga is pretty much the only time I experience a quiet mind. I have no idea what it is about the poses that shut my brain up, but keep it coming!

Get a dramatic hair cut, and perhaps change the color.
This needs to happen quickly.

I may add more to this later. For the time being I am ready to leave work, and possibly crawl under my desk in the fetal position and cry myself to death.

Happy Friday!